NICABM – Working with the Fear of Rejection
Rejection can leave profound hurt in its wake.
And because this hurt can make an imprint on the nervous system, it can keep clients stuck in fear, pain, and shame for years to come.
What’s worse, some people often turn to harmful avoidance strategies that not only create more anguish, but put them at even greater risk of being rejected.
Left untreated, a client’s fear of rejection can lead to withdrawal and isolation . . .
. . . and that can feed devastating feelings of loneliness and emptiness.
So how do we work with the isolating behaviors and hypersensitive nervous system that can shrink our clients’ lives?
We turned to 24 of the world’s top experts to hear how they work with clients who are desperately afraid of being rejected. Here are the latest strategies you can use in your work today.
Working with the Fear of Rejection:
The Most Common Factors That Drive Your Client’s Fear of Rejection (and How to Work with Them)
Peter Levine, PhD Pat Ogden, PhD Shelly Harrell, PhD
- 3 Specific Issues That Fuel a Client’s Fear of Rejection
- What Fear of Rejection Can Feel Like in the Body (and How to Work with Those Sensations)
- How to Work with a Fear of Rejection That Traps a Client in Chronic Self-Sabotage
How to Work with the Avoidance Strategies That Can Sustain Your Client’s Fear of Rejection
Dan Hill, PhD Kelly McGonigal, PhD Richard Schwartz, PhD Deany Laliotis, LICSW
- How a Client’s Early Traumatic Experiences Might Impact Our Approach to Their Fear of Rejection
- How Epigenetics Can Impact the Development of Avoidant Attachment
- One Key Question to Get at the Heart of Your Client’s Fear of Rejection
How to Work with Clients Who Equate Criticism with Rejection
Christine Padesky, PhD Joan Borysenko, PhD Ellyn Bader, PhD
- One Novel Approach to Help Clients Depersonalize Being Rejected
- Two Ways to Work with Clients Who Are Hypercritical or Rejecting of Themselves
- How to Help Clients Turn a Rejection Experience into an Affirmation of Their Core Values
How to Account for the Role of the Nervous System When Fears of Rejection Get Triggered
Deb Dana, LICSW Kelly McGonigal, PhD
Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW, SEP Ron Siegel, PsyD
Laurel Parnell, PhD Stephen Porges, PhD
- How to Help Clients Reinterpret Cues of Danger
- A Compassion-Based Technique for Working with Clients Who Are Afraid of Being Rejected
Key Strategies for Shifting a Client Out of a Rejection-Based Narrative
Ron Siegel, PsyD Kelly Wilson, PhD Rick Hanson, PhD
- How to Use Mentalization to Help Clients Get “Unstuck” from a Rejection Mindset
- Key Practices Clients Can Use to Ground Themselves When They Feel Rebuffed or Rejected
- Appeasement – How Your Client Might Be Using It to Ward Off Rejection
How to Shift Clients Out of a Fear of Rejection
Bonnie Goldstein, PhD Kelly McGonigal, PhD
- How to Work with a “False Self” Defense Against a Fear of Rejection
- A 3-Step Process for Working with the Avoidance and Shame That Often Fuels Rejection Fears
When Fear of Rejection Makes it Hard for Your Client to Set Healthy Boundaries
Lynn Lyons, LICSW Terry Real, MSW, LICSW Michael Yapko, PhD
- How to Help When a Client’s Fear of Rejection Leads Them to Tolerate Behavior They Know They Shouldn’t
- Clear, Concrete Boundary-Setting Language for Clients Who Are Afraid of Being Rejected
- Working with Rejection and Boundaries in Couples Therapy
How to Structure the Therapeutic Relationship More Strategically to Heal a Client’s Fear of Rejection
Miguel Gallardo, PsyD Zindel Segal, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
- 2 Key Elements to Consider in Building a Therapeutic Alliance with Clients Who Fear Rejection
- How to Tell When a Client’s Fear of Rejection Is Endangering the Therapeutic Alliance
- How to Mitigate a Client’s Fear That They’ll Be Rejected in Therapy
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