NICABM – Practical Strategies for Working with Deep-Seated Resentment
Working with Resentment: 19 Experts Share the Latest Strategies to Help Your Client Let Go of Chronic Grievances and Deep-Seated Bitterness
To help clients shift out of deep-seated resentment, we need to:
- Understand the specific neurobiological factors that fuel chronic grudge-holding and grievances
- Know how our limbic system can play off of someone else’s in ways that spark resentment
- Address the two hidden emotions that resentment most commonly masks
So we asked 19 of the top experts in the field to share their best strategies for working with clients who struggle with resentment. This is the result.
Practical Strategies for Working with Deep-Seated Resentment
Why It’s Critical to Factor Anger and Grief into Your Work with Resentment, and Strategies for Approaching Both
Thema Bryant-Davis, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
Rick Hanson, PhD Joan Borysenko, PhD
- Helping Your Client Understand Why Anger Can Feel So Good
- One Link Between Resentment and Grief That Your Client Might Not Expect
- The Steep Cost When Clients Push Anger Aside
- What Can Happen in the Body When Anger Goes Unacknowledged
- Three Specific Challenges That Often Arise When Working with the Grief Beneath Resentment
Unpacking Your Client’s “Resentment Story” – Key Strategies to Help Clients Process and Transition Out of Long-Held Resentment
Christopher Willard, PsyD Ron Siegel, PsyD
Christine Padesky, PhD
- Why Timing Is So Critical in Working with Resentment, and What Can Happen If You Get It Wrong
- One Way to Tailor Your Approach That Can Help You Get the Timing Right
- How to Navigate a Critical Choice Point in Working with Resentment
The Link Between Resentment and Righteous Indignation (and Why It Might Require a More Specialized Approach)
Christopher Willard, PsyD Rick Hanson, PhD
Joan Borysenko, PhD
- What Happens in the Brain When Resentment Arises
- One Specific Fear That Can Fuel Righteous Indignation
- A Key First Step in Helping Clients Separate from Righteous Indignation
Working with Resentment When Trauma Is a Factor
Janina Fisher, PhD Thema Bryant-Davis, PhD
Christine Padesky, PhD
- One Way to Help When a Client’s Trauma Defense Gets Interrupted (and How It Can Impact Resentment)
- Helping Clients Understand the Cycle of Trauma, Memory, Anger, and Resentment
- The Key “Starting Place” That Can Help You Uncover the Terry Real, MSW, LICSW Root of Your Client’s Angry, Resentful Response (Especially When It Might Seem Overblown)
- Three Common Responses to a Hurt or Slight, and How to Guide Your Client Toward Choosing the One That’s Most Effective
- Using Narrative Therapy and the Expressive Arts to Help a Client Address Resentment – A Case Study
Strategies to Help You Keep a Session on Track When a Client’s Resentment Is Directed at You, the Practitioner
Christine Padesky, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
- A Shift in Perspective That Can Transform How We Respond to a Client’s Anger
- One Practice to Help You Manage Tensions That Arise During a Session
- What to Do When You Start to Dread Your Next Session with a Client
Helping Clients Understand Resentment (and Why It’s So Easily Triggered)
Shelly Harrell, PhD Rick Hanson, PhD
Joan Borysenko, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
- Three Specific Attributes of Resentment Your Client Needs to Know Before They Can Begin to Work Through It
- Helping Clients Explore the Common Factors That Can Breed Chronic Resentment
- A 3-Step Process to Jumpstart Your Work with Resentment
The Secret to Preventing Resentment from Developing: Failsafe Strategies for Helping Clients Manage Expectations
Christopher Willard, PsyD Michael Yapko, PhD
Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT Ron Siegel, PsyD
Christine Padesky, PhD
- Two Critical Questions to Help Clients Stop Resentment in Its Tracks
- One Strategic Word Change That Can Help a Client Who Is Hyper-Focused on the Past
- A Strategy to Help Your Clients Shift Out of Past Resentment and Into Future Possibility
- A 3-Step Process to Help Your Client Walk Away from a Fight
How to Help Couples When Resentment Threatens to Derail Their Relationship
Terry Real, MSW, LICSW Richard Schwartz, PhD
Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT Christopher Willard, PsyD
Christine Padesky, PhD Rick Hanson, PhD
- Why Resentment Can Snowball So Quickly Within the Couples Relationship
- Three Critical “Shifts” That Each Partner in a Couple Often Needs to Get Good At (in Order to Dispel Resentment)
- One Way to Help Couples Disrupt the Patterns That Foment Resentment
- A 4-Step Workaround to Help You Reach a Partner Who Might Have Dug-In Patterns of Negativity
- The “Garbage Bag Strategy” That Can Help You Work with a Client Who Struggles to Let Go of Resentment Toward Their Partner, Despite Their Partner’s Effort to Change
- Three Questions That Can Help You Get to the Root of a Partner’s Resentment
How to Help Clients Heal Resentment That Started Within Their Family Relationship
Deany Laliotis, LICSW Christopher Willard, PsyD
Lynn Lyons, LICSW Christine Padesky, PhD
Ron Siegel, PsyD
- The “Neurobiology of Expectation-Building” and Why This Idea Can Be So Useful for Working with Resentment in Families
- Powerful Strategies for Approaching Resentment That Stems from Divorce
- Using the “T-Shirt Strategy” to Help Your Client Think About Resentment More Concretely
Helping Clients Who Struggle with Resentment Navigate the Complexities of Forgiveness
Rick Hanson, PhD Joan Borysenko, PhD
Christine Padesky, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
- A Metaphor to Help Clients Grasp the Futility of Nurturing Resentment
- The Critical Difference Between Forgiveness and Reconciliation (and How to Help Clients Choose Whether Either One Is Right for Them)
- How to Reframe Forgiveness to Dispel the Common Misconceptions Clients Might Have About It
- How to Help Clients Distinguish “Cheap Forgiveness” from the More Genuine Kind
- Helping Clients Understand the Two Key Hallmarks of Genuine Forgiveness
How Mindfulness Can Transform Resentment – Specific Exercises to Share with Your Client
Zindel Segal, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
Joan Borysenko, PhD Christine Padesky, PhD
- Ways to Cultivate “Perspective-Switching” When Working with Clients Who Hold Certain Expectations of Others
- A 2-Step Exercise to Help Clients Change How They Perceive a Slight
- One Way to Prompt a “Mindset Shift” in a Client Whose Fear of Failure Fuels Patterns of Judgment and Resentment
Strategies for Working with Resentment That Stems from Social Injustice
Pat Ogden, PhD Miguel Gallardo, PsyD
Joan Borysenko, PhD Ron Siegel, PsyD
Christine Padesky, PhD
- A Critical Question That Can Shape Our Approach to Socially or Culturally Charged Resentment
- How Working with Resentment Fueled by Ongoing Experiences Differs from Working with Resentment Rooted in Past Experiences
- One Important Caveat When Working with Resentment That’s Socially or Culturally Charged
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